Mom.

Mom.  Mommy.  Momma.  Mother.  

 (that one has not yet been said in exasperation, though I am sure it is just around the corner.  My eldest uses it to tease.  She knows I don't prefer it, so she'll use it give a friendly jab.  For now.)


That is a name that I have been honored to wear for 11+ years.


It wasn't always something I was sure I'd become.  I didn't want to be strapped down.  Then I met Alex.

Alex is my niece.  She was born when I was 17 and about to enter my senior year in high school.  She was so small.  Tiny.  Perfect.  I was at times afraid of her, and at times in awe of her.  Being the baby of my family I was rarely if ever around smaller kids.  I didn't know what to do with them.

My sister's children were my first real practice with little ones.  I think I can pinpoint my change in opinion.  Alex wasn't very old, maybe six months and I was holding her.  I was sitting on the couch in my mom's living room by myself while my sister was busy.  That sweet child fell asleep on me.  I was so excited I wanted to jump up and down, call my mom, call my sister to show them what had happened.  Of course you don't do that with a sleeping baby on your shoulder so you sit back, try to calm your excitement and enjoy.  It felt like forever until someone entered the room and I can't even recall who that might have been but I remember the rest of that moment.  I remember thinking there was more to this than I thought and just maybe I might *someday* want that for myself.

I went on to college, and got married and 8 years after that moment with my niece Don and I welcomed our first child.


That was an experience.  I dreaded delivery and quite honestly I don't look back on those pain filled hours with rosy colored glasses.  But the truth is, she was worth it.  I was overwhelmed by the sheer logistics of a new baby, but I was overjoyed by her presence in our life.  I don't think I have ever felt closer to God than the moments I spent with a newborn on my shoulder.  I have been lucky enough to experience that with 3 great children.

Mom is the longest time I have ever been at a job.  A job I love, and a job I can't (and don't want to) escape.  It is waiting for me when I get up in the morning, it can rouse me from the deepest slumber.


It sums up who I am, and who I want to be.  It defines my every moment and has changed how I look at myself.



I am Katie, Wally, and Mira's Mom.  Period.